I am not Jewish, I don't celebrate Hanukkah, but someone has to right! (BTW: I do not own anything!)
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Put on your yalmulka, here comes Hanukkah
Its so much fun-akkah to celebrate Hanukkah,

Hanukkah is the festival of lights,
Instead of one day of presents, we have eight crazy nights.

When you feel like the only kid in town without a x-mas tree, here's a list of
People who are Jewish, just like you and me:

David lee Roth lights the menorah,
So do James Caan, Kirk Douglas, and the late Dinah Shore-ah

Guess who eats together at the Karnickey deli,
Bowzer from sha-na-na, and Arthur Fonzerrelli.

Paul Newman's half Jewish; Goldie Hawn's half too,
Put them together--what a fine lookin' Jew!

You don't need deck the halls or jingle bell rock
Cause you can spin the dreidl with captain Kirk and Mr. Spock--both Jewish!

Put on your yalmulka, it's time for Hanukkah,
The owner of the Seattle Super Sonic-ahs celebrates Hanukkah.

O.j. Simpson-- not a Jew!
But guess who is...hall of Famer Rod Carew--he converted!

We got Ann Landers and her sister dear Abby,
Harrison Ford's a quarter Jewish--not too shabby!

Some people think that Ebeneezer Scrooge is,
Well, he's not, but guess who is: all Three Stooges.

So many Jews are in show biz--
Tom Cruise isn't, but I heard his agent is.

Tell your friend Veronica, it's time you celebrate Hanukkah
I hope I get a harmonica, on this lovely, lovely Hanukkah.

So drink your gin-and-tonic-ah, and smoke your mara-juanic-ah,
If you really, really wanna-kah, have a happy, happy, happy, happy
Hanukkah¡­¡­. happy Hanukkah! --Adam Sandler SNL